“Has Covid changed your wedding plans?”

The dreaded question heard by every couple getting married during this weird time that we are in. I think if one more person would have asked me this, I would have needed to punch something. Because the truth is, WE DON’T KNOW! You go from plan A to plan D in a matter of days, as regulations are constantly changing. It is a confusing time to plan any event, let alone a day that is supposed to be one of the most special of your lifetime! 

Reality: no Covid wedding is going to look exactly like you had planned it. Does that suck big time, yes! Does that mean your day won’t still be incredible, no! 

Solution: the frustrating “it is different for every couple” response. 

What we had originally planned:

June 27th, 2020 wedding with 150 of our closest family and friends at my partner’s family’s homestead north of Calgary. It was going to be a beautiful barn wedding with a late-night fire and a delicious potluck dessert spread. We had been planning for over a year.

What we did instead:

The two of us, two of our closest friends, our pastor, and our photographer (the lovely Deanna Rachel) met in Kananaskis at a hiking parking lot and walked down to the river to have a beautifully intimate ceremony with the mountains as our backdrop. No family, no friends, just us. One of the only things we felt we could keep constant was our wedding date, so we kept June 27th. We plan to have a symbolic ceremony and reception to celebrate with our guests next year!

How did we come to this plan?

We both have big families. At the time, Albertan’s were only allowed to have 15 people at outdoor gatherings. This would mean we had to pick and choose from our siblings which was out of the question. My little sister was also expecting a baby the week of the wedding and my mum was quarantining to be an alternate at my sister’s birth in case my brother-in-law couldn’t be there. Everything was complicated. We kept feeling as though our day would bring us more stress than joy. But we weren’t willing to full-out postpone our wedding (although I completely understand couples who made that choice) and thankfully our friends and family fully supported our decision. Once a new plan was made, I couldn’t believe the overwhelming peace we both felt. Even as restrictions continued to ease, we stuck to our plan and we are thankful we did.

Bonuses:

• Having the excuse of Covid to simplify our day meant that we got to focus on what was most important – being present in that moment together.

• We have so many amazing shots of our ceremony! After showing my pictures to my best-woman, her first comment was how many photos Deanna got of us during our ceremony. Typically, the photographer is busy trying to capture everything, including those in the crowd witnessing your vows.

• I now get to wear my dress twice, how many brides can say that!?

• We have the best of both worlds – an intimate ceremony with just us plus the big reception next year with all our friends and family.

I think Covid has reminded many of us that situations can change in an instant and we must adapt and prioritize our needs. Jason and I were so blessed to have amazing vendors that were willing to work with us as our plans changed. Having two weddings was never part of our plan, but we think in a year from now many people will be thankful for a celebration! 

Advice for Other Couples

You will receive a lot of opinions and pieces of advice. It will all be well intentioned but may leave you feeling overwhelmed so I will just leave you with these to small pieces of advice that helped me:

• Realize that every piece of advice you receive is from someone who is not in your unique situation and it was given during a snapshot of time that may not represent the current times (and restrictions). Do what is best for you at that time, your family will support whatever decision you make.

• Be flexible. Make a list of the things that you absolutely cannot go without and then acknowledge that the rest is a bonus. You’ll be surprised how much peace it brings you.